Monday, January 16, 2006

Ravin' bout the Ravens

So the following letter has been circulating around Myspace today, we're not sure who it is addressed to but we know who its from... a little band called The Ravens:

"THEE RAVENS HAVE DECIDED THAT DALLAS IS THE LAST PLACE WE WANT TO PLAY >>>>>>LACK OF ATTENDANCE AT OUR SHOWS HAS LED US TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE PLAYED OUT IN DALLAS>>>>>>>>SOOOOOOOOOO AFTER THE DOUBLEWIDE SHOW WE WILL BE PLAYING OUT OF TOWN EXCLUSIVELY >>>>>>>>SO ALL YOU FUCKERS THAT WANT US TO PLAY YOUR BENIFITS>>>>>YOUR PRIVATE PARTY'S>>>>>>YOUR LOLLIPOP SHOPS>>>>>>>>DONT CALL US >>>>>>WE DO YOU GUYS THAT FAVORS OF PLAYING YOUR EVENTS SO WE CAN GET YOU OUT TO OUR SHOWS WHEN IT IS A REGULAR NITE NOT JUST WHEN IT BENIFITS YOU LAME FUCKERS>>>>>>>IM SURE YOU GUYS KNOW WHO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT>>>>>>>>TO ALL FRIENDS WHO DO COME TO OUR SHOWS>>>>>>>YOU GUYS ROCK >>>>WE WILL BE COMING OUT WITH A NEW RECORD HOPEFULLY BY SUMMER TIME >>>>>>>>>AND PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT US WILL BE THANKED IN THE LINER NOTES>>>>>>>SO DULL-ASS DALLAS KISS OUR ASS >>>>>WE WONT MISS YA>>>>>JOHNNY RAVEN"


So Dallas is pretty lame a lot of the time, we can agree with that. But the problem for this band in particular might be the fact that they sound like a bunch of Elvis impersonators playing at a Wal-Mart shareholders meeting in the "Ballroom" at the Little Rock Hilton. I think we can safely say that we don't need another "Nuggets" band running around Dallas with their sunglasses on after dark pretending that they didn't get beat up in high school. Maybe when they hit the road they can get a gig opening up for Cherry Poppin Daddies or something. Not that we're trying to "support the local scene, dude," we're just trying to NOT support annoying music.

5 Comments:

Anonymous zak said...

I LIKE PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS. I ALSO LIKE LOTS OF NONSENSE BRACKETS TO BREAK UP THE SENTENCES>>>>>>>HOW HARDCORE>>>

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw the Ravens play that night and they sound nothing like what you described... this is a perfect example of why the Dallas music scene is failing.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Eric Grubbs said...

Part of me thinks this is a front by Johnny Raven and another part of me says "good riddance" to these floggers of a dead horse.

10:28 AM  
Blogger fuzzbuzz said...

Amazing! They take the time to write a letter to everyone telling them to fuck off but won't take the time to tell anyone they're playing a show. It's 2006 and we haven't learned to read minds yet- so how's about posting a bulletin on the Myspace and clicking "Post". Bands that write fuck off letters to their home towns are pathetic.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Big D said...

Good riddance indeed! I hope they take all their fans with em too. It's gettin too crowded up in here anyways. My citizens got better things to do than listen to a bunch of whinin about not havin enough attention. Yall lucky to even be alive in my streets. Now, get back to work and don't bring me no more 40 year old piece of crap and tell me it's gold! Austin called me and said she don't want em neither cuz they stank!

Love, Dallas

3:19 PM  

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