Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It List: Tuesday


Nas/Talib Kweli/DJ Green Lantern (House Of Blues): I have to admit, it was somewhat of a letdown when Nas ended his epic and longstanding rift with Jay-Z, which resulted in some of the most entertaining back-and-forth attacks in hip-hop. Nas hasn't really lightened up in general though, and has taken issue with Bill O'Reilly's criticism of him, dedicating an entire lyrically scathing track to Fox News on his most recent record. Sample lyrics:

"The video slots
Broadcast
The Waco Davidian plots
They own YouTube, Myspace
When this ignorant shit gon' stop?
They monopolizing news
Your views
And the channel you choose"


I really like the idea of a popular rapper questioning the corrupt aspects of Myspace. Anyways, Nas claims he wants to release two records on the same day, one produced by DJ Premier, and one produced by Dr. Dre. I would "blind buy" the DJ Premier production without even hearing it. The rest of tonight's all star lineup includes the more peace-minded lyricism of Talib Kweli, along with DJ Greenlantern, who has worked with the aforementioned Jay-Z and too many other big names to list here.

Disqo Disco (Fallout Lounge): Tonight's set will feature Justin Vacant of Pretty Vacant.

98 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

so when is "house of blues" gonna have like, a psychedelic blues jam or some shit? what about an old black dude? do they still exist?

5:28 PM  
Anonymous michael said...

Open Mic @ RGRS tonight. Free.

Cheddy Tedderson & His Meltric Parlperts (90's Cover Band featuring members of Teenage Cook Kids and Trifle Tower)
Last week they played:
No Doubt- Don't Speak
The Cardigans- Lovefool
Joan Osborne- One Of us
Meredith Brooks- Bitch
Alanis Morsette- Ironic
Sublime - Santeria

Also, c e re b oso and others.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

also at rgrs:
LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR!
9pm-11pm
$1 wells.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous fastlassie said...

if ever there was a time for a second black star record it's now.

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh NO.......

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fyi- frankly, nas is pissed and under pressure to increase sales. they're down. way down. that's all there is. other than the fact that news corp. owns myspace. you know rupert murdoch and that whole thang...............................................

7:59 PM  
Anonymous atchley said...

Those ghetto blasters are like $300 on ebay. I checked.

9:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Which band in the dfw area would you all like to see become known on a larger stage, say the stage of the toadies? Since the toadies aren't like by the know it all snob music types in DFW, who than would you all support?

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

741: darktown strutters!

10:01 PM  
Anonymous chad said...

Fight Bite
Darktown Strutters
Matthew and the Arrogant Sea
Farah
Rival Gang
Street Hassle

any or all will do

10:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

toadies street team - represent!

11:18 PM  
Anonymous k said...

You wanna know why "know-it-all snobs" don't like the Toadies? Because we TRY to know it all, because we wanted to expand our horizons, and in the process it has turned most of us into music snobs. Go back to thumbing through the Observer while missing The Met, you pathetic twat.

And for the record:

The Toadies can't even suck, they're disqualified. Go scrounge up the difference between them and fucking..I don't know, 'Better Than Ezra', or some shit. Have a blast, Grampa.

Now, go back to your dubbed vhs copy of 'Reality Bites', and fuck off with your antiquated shitheeled opinions, already.

11:31 PM  
Anonymous stonedranger said...

Post of the day!

11:34 PM  
Anonymous superbligged84 said...

siiiiiiickk, K. true dat chad. darktown strutters would be the bomb. fight bite, Farah, and rival gang would be AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

11:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

741: darktown strutters!

11:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did you hear dr.dre's son died?

2:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't understand that "k" post. are you talking about the blog or yourself?

3:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is what is wrong with this music scene. Everyone thinks they're so much cooler than everyone else. If anyone is really a "know it all" , they know that they really know nothing.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous atchley said...

6:41.. .thank you for reminding of this song, which reminds me of being 14/15....

*ahem*

I know that things are getting tougher
When you cant get top off from the bottom of the barrel
Wide open road of my future now...
Its looking fucking narrow
All I know is that I dont know
All I know is that I dont know nothing
All I know is that I don't know
All I know is that I don't know nothing
We get told to decide
Just like as if im not gonna change my mind
All I know is that I dont know
All I know is that I don't know nothing
All I know is that I don't know
All I know is that I don't know nothing
Whatcha gonna do with yourself
Boy better make up your mind
Whatcha gonna do with yourself boy
You're running out of time
This time I got it all figured out
All I know is that I dont know
All I know is that I don't know nothing
All I know is that I don't know
All I know is that I don't know nothing
All I know is that I don't know
All I know is that I don't know nothing
All I know is that I don't know
All I know is that I do not know nothing
And thats fine

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha. is that 'the smiths'?

10:28 AM  
Anonymous hey, stupid said...

i think the k response is in reference to 741. i'm pretty sure that's how the "comments" work.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Who's Bad said...

Formula for success in DFW: young, hot, rich, smart. More arty and throw-back, kitch and irony then musical and rigid, creative and forward thinking. Timeless music--no! The internet has tricked the youth into thinking they are tapping into to some gyser of spleen. How proud they wear their latest French Electro-Clash. And wow!--isn't it great how all the bands have a rotating cast. If you are a man midget and can think--FAME! If you have sex appeal or participate in homosexuality--FAME! It seems like whatever happened 20, 30 years ago in the major market economy has finally hit the children of the dawn and they own it with pride. The harder you come the harder you fall. I can't wait.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

8:56, you sound like the PMRC, The Observer, and Sean Hannity rolled into one.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

8:29 that song is by Operation Ivy

11:23 AM  
Anonymous k said...

isn't "hot, rich and smart" THE UNIVERSAL formula for success?

or maybe "ugly, poor, and stupid" isn't mainstream enough for you already?

the difference between you and me, 856, is that "fame" never enters into my picture. i make music. i make it because i have to. if you happen to like it, that's great. if you don't, it never mattered in the first place.

if you're so bitter about the "formula", stop burrowing under the rock of 'mainstream' culture. think you can't get away from it? i did.

so, "bad", have you ever considered making your OWN MUSIC?

sometimes the best solutions are always right in front of our ugly, poor, stupid faces.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous no fun said...

the irony of what Zappa had to say. . . .

"who's bad" is straight MJ, BTW. FTW, you have no idea how pure of heart you must be. Plz. save yourself from being a gadfly and frolic with your midi sagbut off to participate in Chapman Stick blogs while learning tricks about sidechain eqs with the geeky Pro tools set. Maybe get on-line and find a good luthier--maybe Lorenzo has recovered from lyme disease and can make you that coveted Klein guitar you've always wanted. DIY MAX/MSP forums. . . . Go anywhere but here. Musicians are boring. Aren't you board reading this. Or do you have a penchant for drama? If that is the case--get real brutal RIGHT NOW.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous no fun said...

the irony of what Zappa had to say. . . .

"who's bad" is straight MJ, BTW. FTW, you have no idea how pure of heart you must be. Plz. save yourself from being a gadfly and frolic with your midi sagbut off to participate in Chapman Stick blogs while learning tricks about sidechain eqs with the geeky Pro tools set. Maybe get on-line and find a good luthier--maybe Lorenzo has recovered from lyme disease and can make you that coveted Klein guitar you've always wanted. DIY MAX/MSP forums. . . . Go anywhere but here. Musicians are boring. Aren't you board reading this. Or do you have a penchant for drama? If that is the case--get real brutal RIGHT NOW.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous no fun said...

the irony of what Zappa had to say. . . .

"who's bad" is straight MJ, BTW. FTW, you have no idea how pure of heart you must be. Plz. save yourself from being a gadfly and frolic with your midi sagbut off to participate in Chapman Stick blogs while learning tricks about sidechain eqs with the geeky Pro tools set. Maybe get on-line and find a good luthier--maybe Lorenzo has recovered from lyme disease and can make you that coveted Klein guitar you've always wanted. DIY MAX/MSP forums. . . . Go anywhere but here. Musicians are boring. Aren't you board reading this. Or do you have a penchant for drama? If that is the case--get real brutal RIGHT NOW.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

figure out the "submit" button RIGHT NOW.

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Hey RIGHT NOW said...

YOU SUCK

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you mean zapata. dumbshit.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

k, you make an interesting point.

most young people are pretty y'know. youthful glow and good at

preening demands it.

11:58 AM  
Anonymous chriso))) said...

Known on a larger stage? Who cares? Just make it not suck.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Just make it said...

don't suck--blow

can we please be positive and have some real discourse

our refined tastes demonstrates the huge potential we have

12:40 PM  
Anonymous this is sham said...

i'm thinking only 20 or so people get on here

12:45 PM  
Anonymous prison mike said...

There is no "larger scale". People don't buy music like they used to, and they listen to talk radio rather than music-driven stations.

As MySpace has shown, there are way too many mediocre bands watering down what is left of the music business.

The days of getting rich and famous by playing in band are long gone. If it didn't happen to you already, it ain't ever gonna happen. Unless, of course, you can afford to wait 75 years for a million people to download your music one song at a time.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous hrm 10:51 said...

that is until the Highlander shows up.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous next big thing said...

why would anybody want to get rich and famous playing music? especially when you could remain an empty cult figure for the 15 people who troll wsjr?

damned if you, damned if you don't. get rich and famous, end up emotionally isolated and strung out on dope. fail miserably, end up a hero on pointless blogs everywhere.

the music business is dead. now it's just a hobby for anyone who can afford protools.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous jay electronica said...

sucked last night he was horrible, kweli....eghhhhh....kind of old news and nas... what is next.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous American Midol said...

If you really wanna be known on a larger scale, start practicing Eagles covers for your American Idol audition.

If you really think it's gonna happen by playing Hailey's once a month, trust me when I say your dream is dead in the water.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous k said...

1106:

Thanks, Dad. Pass the mashed potatoes.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1113#1:

what's gonna happen? i'm gonna get FAMOUS?? dude, you're an idiot.

you TRULY do not UNDERSTAND our music scene.

go pop some tums and stroll on down to the vfw hall. maybe there, YOU'LL finally have an audience. seriously. you are so utterly clueless, i'm fucking embarrassed.

1:18 PM  
Anonymous prison mike said...

yea dude, totally clueless!

toadies fuckin rock!

1:24 PM  
Anonymous chriso))) said...

Wanted to elaborate on my "don't suck" comment, came out vaguer than I wanted to.

Your big stage is irrelevant. Make shit you like and listen to shit you like. Everybody has different opinions on music and not everybody is going to like everything. Big deal.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did u learn about the hard-rockin toadies in prison?

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From what I consider to be the best music review site out there:

http://www.cokemachineglow.com/track_review

Toadies :: "No Deliverance"

Yup, the Toadies. That "the Toadies".

Fourteen long years since “Possum Kingdom” first rocketed their career atop the last crest of the post-Nirvana grunge wave, and seven years since their sophomore effort Hell Below/Stars Above marked their demise long after the crash, the Toadies are back. They’ve reunited sans original bassist Lisa Umbarger, which isn’t really a game-changer since replacement Doni Blair handles her simplistic style with ease, but it is odd considering Lisa was the reason for the group’s breakup in 2001. Jumping ship after (but not necessarily because of) the flop that was Hell Below, the other members—singer/guitarist Todd Lewis, guitarist Clark Vogeler, and drummer Mark Reznicek—called it quits, claiming they just couldn’t go on without her.

As it turns out, that’s not entirely true. And so, all these years later, they pick up exactly where they left off: not a single fucking thing has changed. “No Deliverance” sounds like a geriatric, recycled version of the same derivative shit, Lewis still unable or unwilling to move beyond Rubberneck‘s most simplistic grunge-isms, let alone capitalizing on what made “Possum Kingdom”—hell, even “Tyler,” despite blatantly ripping off “Where Is My Mind”—so singular and, frankly, un-Toadies.

In contrast, this is vintage just-as-you-remember-‘em-and-you-probably-don’t Toadies, as exciting and inspired as a rock band perpetually stuck in 1994 can be. It’s tepid three-chord blues-rock, limping along on a lazy Black Keys riff and all the inflected anger Lewis can muster. The distorted vocals in the verses are near laughable, and the chorus is a chugging bore, Lewis stuck growling the title over and over until, by song’s end, he’s a “leave the lady alone or I’ll gladly kick your ass” lyric away from being Chad Kroeger. And yeah, ok, that’s a little harsh; even in 2008 this anachronistic, totally unnecessary spell of déjà vu is leagues above Nickelback’s ilk, if just for Vogeler’s lead guitar, but…really, what does it say if that’s the biggest compliment I can bestow?

2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who out there is playing some shit completely original? not derivative of anything?

2:49 PM  
Anonymous answer said...

nobody

3:03 PM  
Anonymous stonedranger said...

If you only knew the # of people who actually commented and viewed the comments on this site, pal, you would consider it a privilege that we allow you to join in on the discussion. :-)

3:03 PM  
Anonymous The best music review site out there? Please... said...

Here's another review from the same blog that reviewed The Toadies new record above. Just for a little context...


My Penis Is Made of Dogshit: "The Abortion"

Here is a band who revolutionized the art of being awful. Hell, just read the band, song, and album names again. Still, anyone can offend; it’s the band’s music that makes all the shittiness transcendent. Their first album, Satan’s Pregnant Again, was musique concrete for fourteen year olds weaned on Blink-182, all random swearing, gibberish, and some stabs at rudimentary musical performance. It encapsulated the name of the band and the mission statement of the legendary label they record for (Wikipedia, ho!: “to defy or ignore all criteria that people generally adhere to when it comes to considering audio”). But somewhere between albums the ability to turn shit into gold, or at least to delve into the fecal depths of horribleness and find the bizarre complexity underneath, was honed and refined until the point where hip indie cats are now calling them the Beatles of shitcore.

On The Abortion, then, we find to our surprise some kind of structure amidst the thirty second bursts of screaming and broken mandolin. Gone are the random jabs and incoherence. Suddenly we have a concept album, something about feminism and college. There are not one but two “full album remixes” that blend the whole thing into increasingly chipmunked oblivion. There’s a hidden track of sped-up overheard conversation. It’s all actually kind of, um, catchy. And at the core is “The Abortion,” a quiet space among all the other angry ruckus, the instant catchphrases, melody squeezed ex nihilo from household objects and overused vocal chords. “The Abortion” tones it down, hopping over picked acoustic guitar, then makes way for an actual Jamaican (or so the liner notes insist) who raps a few bars before disintegrating into laughter. And that’s it. And it’s brilliant.

And so, if My Penis Is Made of Dogshit represents the quandary between titles and music, let’s place equal weight on either end of the scale in this case. These ridiculous titles provide the context for the band’s postmodern stew. It’s hugely profound to find such giddiness and relief in a song as forebodingly titled as “The Abortion” (as opposed, for example, to the gurgling frustration of “Satan Considers The Unpopular Birthing Clinic”). Perhaps salvation can come through death? Wait a minute—hasn’t salvation always come through death? And if so, why not in the hands of an eloquent, anonymous toastmaster, greeting us softly and with laugher, gently taking our hands and coaxing us along to eternal freedom and making dead baby and scat-porn jokes all the way?

3:09 PM  
Anonymous hahaha... said...

I guess if you think a band called "My Penis is Made of Dogshit" is "the Beatles of shitcore" and "brilliant" then not liking The Toadies should prety much be a no-brainer. (No pun intended.)

Thanks for the head's up!

3:15 PM  
Anonymous still waiting... said...

for somebody to offer up a band (other than My Penis Is Made of Dogshit) that is doing something entirely free of derivation.

oh wait. there was already a gg allin.

guess you can cross them off, too.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous chriso))) said...

Everything is derivative.

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Prison Mike said...

You don't wanna be like me.

We don't have ProTools and Logic in the clink. All we got is harmonicas and jews harps. Sometimes we carve out lutes made of soap.

I'm here to scare you straight! Now go quantize your shit and stay off the streets after dark!

3:26 PM  
Anonymous atchley said...

My Penis is Made of Dogshit.... NOT JUST A CLEVER NAME!!!!

3:27 PM  
Anonymous derivative sharivative said...

i know they're been around for about 30 years, but the butthole surfers were pretty original.

other than that...

Raul Midon? David Bowie? Bobby McFerrin? MC 900 Ft Jesus?

oh wait. we're talking about right now. never mind...

3:29 PM  
Anonymous positive discourse said...

would be really cool and all but people are more interested putting people down, bein all crass and exuding cleverness.

also that would boring and waygaybro

3:33 PM  
Anonymous don't quit your day job said...

None of you people are ever going to make a living playing music.

It's a hobby.

You can try and convince yourself that what you're doing is "art" and is important to somebody.

Please.

Just some more noise in the corner.

Your hatred of The Toadies boils down to this: they're in a band and actually getting paid to play music, and you're working in a restaurant or print shop.

You're jealous. Get over it.

3:34 PM  
Anonymous stonedranger said...

Do I have to temporarily ban Toadies posts? You're just saying the same dumb thing over and over and it's getting really old.

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

seconded

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ban this shit!

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what I'm getting from all of these re-invigorated Toadies fans is:

You are nothing, if you don't 'make it'.
and
The Toadies have 'made it,' so they are good. Just listen to the album!

Oooohhhhh, the TOADIES, I thought you said something else. I DO like them! They have made it! And noone else from this area ever will, cause it's Dallas, and Dallas isn't as cool as like New York or LA.

It's all coming together......

Thanks for the insight guys. I'll never waste my time here, reading about all of these useless bands who are never going to make it in the biz. I've also started calling it 'the biz', cause that's what you call it, if you want to make it in it. Everybody got it? Can we move on now?

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Bookman from Good Times said...

censor the posts that actually mention bands from your hometown, but leave up the hundreds and hundreds of anonymous accusatory posts that talk inane shit and mean nothing.

real quality control.

and i don't even like the toadies.

3:58 PM  
Anonymous rage against the pachinko machine said...

is this where we come to talk shit about Ghostbuster?



'cause they're gonna change the world.



(once they find a new singer.)

4:03 PM  
Anonymous jeez, stone dranger said...

when did you become a communist? censorship? Really? we should consider it a "privilege" to post on this blog? what happened?

you seemed like a pretty kool dood. hosting a blog means getting hammered with idiot shit... the good with the bad, pally. you should know that by now.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous still waiting... said...

for anybody to offer up a new band that isn't at least partially derivative of something else that came before it.

come on, music snobs. show us what ya got. anything...

4:10 PM  
Anonymous been there, done that... said...

My Penis Is Made of Dogshit: "The Abortion" = Butthole Surfers: "Locust Abortion Technician"

4:14 PM  
Anonymous stonedranger said...

Censorship has nothing to do with communism. The "privilege" comment was a joke. Toadies posts are getting really annoying. That's all.

4:22 PM  
Anonymous stonedranger said...

Oh, and "Still Waiting"-- why don't YOU name one first, Mr. Smartguy?

4:23 PM  
Anonymous the downward spiral said...

who is better?

Tool or A Perfect Circle?

House of Pain or Everlast?

Soundgarden or Chris Cornell?

White Stripes or Black Keys?

Public Enemy or Kanye West?

QOTSA or Coheed and Cambria?

Pantera or Hellyeah?

The Runaways or Paramore?

U2 or Blink 182?

Eazy E or Lil Wayne?

Dr. Dre or Rick Ross?

Stockhausen or Glen Branca?

Miles Davis or Miley Cyrus?

Hank Williams or Hank III?

Alice Cooper or Marilyn Manson?

Suicide or Vega?

Frank Zappa or The Dutch Treats?

Uncle Tupelo or Old 97s?




shit's trending suckier as time goes on.

so be it.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous still waiting... said...

i can't name one.

that's the point.

there isn't one.

everything is derivative of something else.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous bored at work said...

Here's an artist that didn't derive any music from anyone... this musician was very influential. He was a Neanderthal and he beat on a rock until rhythm was invented. BUT WAIT!!! His heart had rhythm before him. FUCK! FOILED AGAIN!

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tool or A Perfect Circle?
Tool

House of Pain or Everlast?
House of Pain

Soundgarden or Chris Cornell?
SG

White Stripes or Black Keys?
White Stripes


Public Enemy or Kanye West?
PE

QOTSA or Coheed and Cambria?
Coheed.

Pantera or Hellyeah?
Pantera

The Runaways or Paramore?
who?

U2 or Blink 182?
Blink 182

Eazy E or Lil Wayne?
Easy E

Dr. Dre or Rick Ross?
Dre

Stockhausen or Glen Branca?
Who?

Miles Davis or Miley Cyrus?
Miles

Hank Williams or Hank III?
Sr.

Alice Cooper or Marilyn Manson?
Manson

Suicide or Vega?
Suicide


Frank Zappa or The Dutch Treats?
Dutch Treats

Uncle Tupelo or Old 97s?
dunno

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, a few too many dunnos there for a weshitjr reader....

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol @ 241

5:12 PM  
Anonymous i got it said...

completely original :

robert crumb and the cheap suit serenaders.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous chriso))) said...

Cheap Suit Serenaders played mostly covers. At least on the cd I have.

People just be takin different stuff from different things and turning it into their own thing. 12 notes to work from. Music is good! hey!

5:33 PM  
Anonymous why cum said...

when sr gets backed into the respectable corner of accountability he always plays the "just kidding" card

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

r.crumb is hilarious !
those songs crack me up!

5:36 PM  
Anonymous if you couldn't tell 133 said...

I am a gay homosexual. And mexican.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, 3:35...he WAS kidding. Wasn't it obvious? SR, through all of his posturing, is a humble dude. That's why he likes to learn about music and write about it, I would say.

7:00 PM  
Anonymous and so said...

let's say the dark town strutters made it big. well by the time that happened we would all be so over them.

don't slag on the toadies be happy for them for sticking with it and making it and helping other bands out like river boat gamblers.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Bookman from Good Times said...

are you kidding? we have to slag the toadies!

they're way too threatening to all of the tom petty fans.

7:45 PM  
Anonymous dork town strutters said...

we love stone dranger

and stone phillips

and oliver stove

and sly stone

and the stone temple pirates




so back up offa him... he's doing the best he can.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous k said...

dorktown? can i keep that?

12:30 AM  
Anonymous bill cosby said...

yes, kyle, but what if you're an asshole?

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. Firstly we must ask ourselves if Bill Cosby is an asshole. Asshole.

Long live The Night Game Cult!

12:45 AM  
Anonymous bitchface said...

shut up. kyle is an asshole, and bill cosby gave me puddin pops.

there is a clear victor here.

12:57 AM  
Anonymous Interactive Male said...

The thing about Kyle is, when he leans in and nuzzles my coin purse, he is unusually gifted in his ability to flick the tip of his tongue up and down my ABC (ass/ball connection).

Good kisser, too. I actually watched him have sex with a dog.

4:08 AM  
Anonymous dtc said...

kyle, i think you are in serious need of some intensive therapy. theres something....unstable with you.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Beat The Press said...

Had a chance to interview DMX after he got out of jail the other day.

Went something like this...

Me: 'Sup nigga?
Him: Who the fuck are you?
Me: I'm here to interview you for Wire.
Him: The TV show?
Me: No, the magazine.
Him: Never heard of it.
Me: Me neither.
Him: So back up offa me.
Me: You don't want me to do an in-depth interview to help you sell your new CD?
Him: I ain't got no new CD.
Me: Well, why were you in jail?
Him: None of your business, bitch.
Me: The world wants to know.
Him: The world can go fuck itself.
Me: Oh, come on. tell us about your beef with 50.
Him: That ain't me. That's The Game.
Me: Oh. Tell us about your reality show.
Him: That ain't me. That's Flava Flav.
Me: OK, then. Tell us about your new Vodka.
Him: That's Puff Daddy.
Me: Oh. Well then tell us about your new movie.
Him: That's Will Smith.
Me: Alright. Then tell us about your beef with Biggie.
Him: That was Tupac.
Me: OK, tell us about your beef with Mount Righteous.
Him: Who? never heard of him.
Me: Didn't you have a squab with their tuba player?
HIm: Nigga, bounce up offa me, yo.
Me: Dude, this is serious shit.
Him: I'ma about to bust your head open.
Me: What do think about the length of Mike Vick's prison sentence?
Him: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: Didn't you get busted for dog fighting too?
Him: Nigga, you dead.
Me: Oh, hold up. Some people in Denton really care about your backstory.
Him: What's Denton?
Me: It's the place where all the great musicians come from.
Him: Fuck a musician. I use a sampler.
Me: Isn't that stealing?
Him: So what if it is?
Me: That's what I say.
Him: Then why you bring it up, nigga?
Me: 'Cause I'm a music writer.
Him: You ain't shit. Got any rock?
Me: Like Molly Hatchet or Judas Priest?
Him: No, like a 20 in a glass pipe.
Me: Oh, yeah... sure.
Him: Well bust it out, bitch.
Me: First I need you to suck my cock.
Him: OK, unzip your shit.
Me: There ya go. Open wide.
Him: That's all you got? No wonder you're a music writer.

1:53 PM  
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Fuel City is already close to jumping the shark.

Get there quick before it's all over.

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