The Top Five Guitar Solos Ever

I'm an axe man, man. A gunslinger. A riff man. I play guitar. Ever since the days of cutting my teeth to "And Justice For All..." tablature, I have been developing a keen ear for the epic guitar solo, and I believe I have reached my peak. I can spot an excellent guitar solo. Fact. This is known. And considering that I am more than qualified to do so, I have established a list of the best guitar solos. Lists are good, effective. They define. Some people use them as the start of discussions. This is wrong. Why? Because, like I just mentioned, lists define. If lists define then why discuss? There should be no discussion, and in fact, all discussion should cease at this moment. So why do I get to define the five best guitar solos? Because I'm qualified....I already mentioned that. Let's get to it.

Drum Roll.........

Number Five:

"Look Back in Anger" (From 1:16 to 1:45), David Bowie from the Lodger album.

The B side of Lodger is Fantastic. Starting with "DJ" and ending with "Red Money" (Sister Midnight's twin) it might just be my favorite stretch of Bowie music. "Look Back in Anger" has this incredible rollicking energy that makes it one of Bowie's heaviest songs. From the beginning, the rhythm section is in a dead sprint after being signaled by the high pitched "starter pistol" squeal of guitarist Carlos Alomar. There are no breaks, bridges or innuendos, its no holds barred art-rock thrash for three glorious minutes. Given the exhausting pace of the track, it would be easy to ruin the solo. Instead of competing with his band-mates, however, Mr. Alomar compliments their tour de force by playfully strumming a couple of repeated notes, creating a swaying tension over an impossible rhythm section. This dude gets little attention in the wake of the great Mick Ronson.

Number Four:

"Falling and Laughing", (From 2:25 to 2:39 and 2:53 to Fade Out), Orange Juice from the You Can't Hide Your Love Forever album.

Edwyn Collins and Malcolm Ross turn the Marr into mincemeat on this undeniably catchy pop song. There are actually two solos which are variations on the same rockabilly-esque riff. Both are short, sweet and drenched in twangy reverb. The latter ushers in an incredibly fun outro will make you wonder if anyone every pogo-ed at Smiths shows. For anyone who is fond of Marr, Boorer or who was once taken by the chime-y interplay of Franz Ferdinand.......you ain't heard nuthin till you heard these squeaky clean Scots.

Number Three:

"Animal Nitrate" , (From 1:42 to 2:04) Suede from the Suede album

Ahh......Suede. The guiltiest of all guilty pleasures. The most pouty, snotty, self indulgent Brit Pop band to come out of the scene (Yes that includes Oasis too). The guitars on this track are clouds of flangy fluff floating over a very dense mix. Butler's use of textures and rhythms are unconventional and cool, and they really, really work. The fluffy intro gives way to a harsh, trebly verse riff, accompanied by a rhythm section that sounds like it could collapse at any second. But it doesn't. What it does do is give way to a solo blinded by phase and flange and punctuated with the perfect Butler wrap-up. And any guy who has seen the girl of their dreams go home with who they think is a potential date rapist can identify with the track. Can't every guy relate to that? I guess the dudes who are actually doing the raping can't.......Suede's best song.

Number Two:

"Marquee Moon", (Shit.....the whole thing) Television from the Marquee Moon album

As the old cliche goes, what hasn't been said about Marquee Moon? Couple of things to mention. First, Tom Verlaine is one of only two American guitarists on the list (Take your Hendrix and shove it). Second, the guy is adept at making the guitar sound just as immediately melodic as the piano. There are some very sparse pianos on the track but you mainly hear guitars, lots and lots of guitars. And yet he manages to avoid wankery. How? I don't know. Third, this is the longest and only "Close your eyes and feel it like Carlos Santana" solo on the list. In fact the whole fucking song is a guitar solo. So light some candles, dim the lights, roll a joint and indulge in the magic that is Marquee Moon.

Number One:

"Boys Keep Swinging", (2:03 to fade out) David Bowie from the Lodger album

Why not bookend the list with another Lodger B side gem? Well, the story on this song is that the musicians traded instruments in an effort to create some kind of sloppy garage sound. There are a shit load of musicians on the album and the insanely dense mix might have damned near used all of them. I do know that standard guitarist Carlos Alomar plays drums, and drummer Dennis Davis plays bass (really, really good bass in hindsight). Anyway the point is for the longest time I thought the guitar solo was being played by somebody who really wasn't supposed to know how to play guitar. That would have been amazing. Alas, that is not the case. It's still amazing. At 2:03 Kentucky born Adrian Belew turns his heavily treated guitar into a Frankenstein that obliterates everything in its path. The stuttering choice of notes and sheer volume create a "roll your eyes" kind of swagger that could not compliment the song's arrogance any better. Belew's fractured lines eventually dissolve into a blistering stereo of white noise that sounds as desperate as a strung out Bowie crawling through a Berlin sewer grate. The childish rhythm section conjures up some kind of build-up that concludes with a purposely clumsy snare fill at 2:57. I've listened to that damned snare fill so many times. It sounds as if rookies Carlos and Dennis are trying to save some sinking ship from evil Adrian's guitar and their only source of refuse lies in an impish snare fill. Belew's guitar continues to scream through the fade-out as if it was laughing at Senior Alomar for playing such a meek snare fill. The track is perfect. That's all there is to it. Now I know SR posted the video not too long ago, but don't watch it for the solo. You will be distracted by Bowie's antics and miss it.

There you have it. So the next time you and your bro's or bro-ette's want to wax philosophical about guitar heroes. No need. It's laid our right here for you.

Honorable Mention:

"Eruption" Van Halen
"Hots for Teacher" Van Halen
"Running with the Devil" Van Halen
"Panama" Van Halen
"Right Now" Van Halen